Writing a blog isn’t easy when you’re an introvert…

 

Hey everyone,

Where have I been??

So it’s been a long time since I’ve made a blog post; months in fact, and I am well aware that I never got around to posting the continuation of my personal story either.

Things have been overwhelming.

After posting the first segment of my personal story “The Start”, I was having a LOT of regrets.

I am a huge introvert, and to make matters worse, I tend to do a lot of introspection and I’m PRIVATE. I don’t like talking about myself or sharing things about myself (both good and bad) with other people (even people as close as family and friends); it truly makes me uncomfortable. The problem with this is that things tend to build inside of me and I play everything over and over in my mind, only hurting myself even more, until I eventually breakdown. I go silent, I’m not able to talk about it, I can only think about it.

On rare occasions, I’ll feel the need to write everything down, as though I’m trying to drain myself and my mind of the thoughts and feelings that are consuming me to give myself some relief. This is what happened with “The Start”. I poured so much into it and disclosed so many personal things about myself, that I was feeling depleted, exposed, nervous and worried. A friend of mine convinced me not to remove my post because maybe it could help other people who were going through or went through similar situations as mine, so with the idea of helping other people in mind, the only way I could “protect” myself was to not look at it or touch it again (essentially denying that it was out there for everyone to read) until I was ready to.

I moved on and started making blog posts about my travels and hoped to continue sharing those stories and pictures with all of you, but I got sick back in October, and it took months of going in and out of the hospital, back and fourth to see my doctor and specialist, testing, multiple rounds of antibiotics and other medication to finally get better and even find the cause of the problem. It was nothing but exhausting, both physically and emotionally. I didn’t have energy to eat most of the time, and when I did, I couldn’t keep anything in me. At the same time, I was frantic with worry for how I would continue to provide for myself. I got very weak, I lost a lot of weight, and I became extremely depressed. Engrossed by all of this, I wasn’t blogging and my instagram posts became very sporadic.

Still not 100% with my health (the balance seems to be very fragile), though things are more stable, I’m hoping to start working on some travel blogs again soon or at least be more consistent with my Instagram posts.

I’d like to try working on “The Continuation” for all of you, I just don’t think I’m there yet and I don’t feel like now is the right time.

Talk to you soon.

Jen