You will be missed enormously….

Dear friends and fellow wanderers,

My heart is heavy with grief. As I sit here writing this post after an entire day of crying, 2 hours of sleep, and tears still in my eyes. I hold my breath as an attempt to pause, stop everything and gain control, but with the next inhalation, thoughts, regrets, should-haves, what-ifs and hatred for myself come flooding in. I have just learned of the death of my dear friend Jaime Kwebetchou, 10-days after he went missing and TWO MONTHS after his body was found. I am devastated and I can’t even begin to imagine what his family went through and are still going through grieving his tragic loss.

I first met Jaime two years ago in London, during my final days in the city. The day he arrived at our hostel, I remember walking down four flights of stairs, and seeing this exhausted boy who looked like he just wanted dive into a bed and sleep. As soon as he said “Hi” to me, I immediately realized two things. One, a fellow North American (an “American” to be exact), and two, his tremendously kind and caring heart, soul and spirit that permeated his body.

I looked at Jaime and said “American?”, he looked at me with his huge smile from ear to ear and said “Yeah, you too?”. My response, “No, Canadian, but I know what you’ve just gone through, and that you’ve been in transit for at least 7 hours over-night, 10 if you came from the other side of the country, so I understand how exhausted you must be.”, laughing about the shared struggle. He couldn’t get a hold of our host and he couldn’t figure out how to gain access to the hostel, so I decided to take a chance and let him in. A decision my so cautious-self will now be so grateful for, for the rest of my lifetime.

Making our way up the four flights of stairs, we discovered that he was my new roommate, and I instantly decided that I was going to milk the situation for all it was worth since I blessed him with access the hostel (haha); I guilted him into switching bunk beds with me! He couldn’t refuse! Hahahaha! For my last three nights there, I no longer had to propel my debilitated body devoid of agility and flexibility up a ladder to the top bunk, and I loved him for it! This is truly when I knew how much of a kind person Jaime was.

Like other travellers, wanderers and nomads who cross paths abroad, Jaime and I became friends, visited the city together, added each other to facebook, exchanged phone numbers, and promised to keep in touch. Unlike most other travellers, wanderers and nomads, Jaime actually did just that. Jaime’s warmth and sincerity shone through in every interaction. He had a way of making people feel valued and cared for; a quality that left a lasting impact on me.

While we were in London, and even after we both made it back to our home cities months later, him somewhere in Maryland (I really tried my best to remember!), and myself in Montréal (the city that he made so clear to me that he absolutely loved and thought was “so cool” that I live there), he would always tell me how he felt like I was a mother to him; taking care of him, and he would never let me forget how grateful he was that I let him into our hostel. I didn’t feel like what I did deserved anywhere near that much thanks, but what I understood from Jaime was the value he placed-in and would take-away from his interactions and relationships with other people, especially in small acts of kindness. When I think, what if the roles were reversed? I realize I would feel 100% the same way that he felt because I value those same connections with people. I called Jaime “little brother” and always told him that he was like one for me. We were friendship soulmates.

Despite the miles that separated us, Jaime made an effort to nurture, commit to and value our friendship. I can’t help but to be angry at myself, even hate myself, for becoming so overwhelmed and consumed by life these past three months, that I didn’t even have any idea he was already gone for the last two. Jaime was supposed to be coming to live in Montréal this past June for three months, and his excitement about it was truly contagious. He told me he was excited to see me and hang-out with me, and I couldn’t wait to take him to all the festivals. When June came around, I was so busy that even when I thought about him one day and tried to remind myself to message him, I forgot minutes later and the month passed-by in a flash, to the point that I didn’t even realize until weeks later that I hadn’t received any of the typical phone calls from him.

Last night, when finally deciding to go check-out Jaime’s facebook page to see if he got held-up somewhere in Europe, I saw the caption “Remembering Jaime Kwebetchou”, and I made the shocking discovery that I never expected to make. In shock, confused, and not wanting to believe what I saw, I started frantically scrolling through the Facebook posts on his wall… hundreds of them… reading peoples condolences and watching the news videos to try to understand what had happened. I finally reached out to a friend of his, who responded back to me confirming the news. Not only had my friend gone missing as of May 5th, but his body was found ten days later floating in the Hudson River; a fate I never believed could happen to someone I know, that only happens in the news!

Jaime was an activist against war and discrimination in every sense of the word, he was a philosopher, a history buff, a role model, an influencer, a free spirit, a lover of life, a fellow wanderer and adventurer, a son, a brother, an uncle, a cousin and dear friend. He was the kind of person who would befriend you without hesitation and make you feel like you had already known him for a lifetime. He was as sincere as they get, and he would always greet you with arms open wide whenever you’d see him. Jaime’s impact on the lives he came into contact with was formidable.

I love you and miss you forever little brother. RIP